Sunday, March 8, 2009

I Hate Residency

I. Hate. Residency.

I. Hate. Residency.

And, just in case you didn't get the idea...

I. Hate. Residency.

I thank god that I did not choose surgery because that would be 5yrs of residency, not 3.

I ask myself sometimes why on earth I chose to do a 3rd year of residency when I could still be doing emergency medicine somewhere without obtaining more specialised training. Yes, maybe I wouldn't be as good at what I do but I'd be paid a shitload more than I am right now and I wouldn't have people watching over my shoulder at every turn and I wouldn't have any more rotations in things I have little interest in just so that perhaps, just perhaps, I will learn something relevant to what I'm going to be doing.

Starting cardiology tomorrow, I am not feeling optimistic. I hate being on call any more. I hate being off-service instead of in the ER. I hate working 32hr shifts. I hate being paid $70 to work said shifts. I'd make more working at fucking McDonald's. I hate hate hate hate having to play the stupid fucking residency game of changing my practice of medicine to suit whoever whenever whatever wherever whyever.

I love emergency medicine I just hate having to play the fucking residency game for another fucking year. Well, more like four more months. And I hate having to fucking study for another stupid exam in September. I am sick of writing fucking exams. I will so fucking burn the thousands of dollars' worth of textbooks when I receive my exam results, assuming I pass. I am just so done with my fucking edumacation.

AAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

10 comments:

  1. I Hate Residency too! I am SO DONE with the fucking game. After graduation and the Boards, I will NEVER EVER deal with bullshit Internal Medicine ever again! And all those mofo's who antagonized me for these 3 long years can SUUUUCK IT!! I wonder if patients ever realize all that we go through to take care of them, and how half of us are probably just as screwed up as them. You are not alone, my friend. Goodluck as you too approach the end of this ridiculous race to finish residency.

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  2. ditto, but on year 2 of 6 of surgery

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  3. I was thinking of winning the lottery and becoming a garbage man. I fucking hate residency. Year 2/3 for me.

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  4. I hate residency and I am year 3/4 in ophthalmology. Still seriously thinking of quitting. I love the subject and the patients, but cannot stand the work environment and the attendings (most of them). I'm better off being poor and happy. Just quit - it's not worth getting depressed over a job that will never bring you happiness

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  5. So awesome to know I'm not alone! Finishing my intern year as a prelim neuro, 3 more to go, and I wake up every day and spend the first 15 minutes thinking "I HATE my fucking life"!!!

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    1. OMG me too! I just finished a 28 hr shift where I was the senior, the junior, the intern and the on call person and then got chewed out by the CRNP for not having the list printed out properly! I fucking HATE my life!!!

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    2. Yeah, that's my life too. Don't you love this?

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    3. I'm not a neuro intern (actually IM intern), couldn't figure out how to fix that, but sadly, am now a neuro senior and not substantially happier. If it were not for the $300,000 in debt, I would be out of here faster than fast, to some place where the years of education made a difference.

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  6. wow, this is so old, but thank god i have this today..snowed in and miserable..can't wait to be done..4 more months of hell.

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  7. surgery intern - who absolutely hates her life, I wake up and talk myself out of getting in my car and driving away. I loathe my colleagues and attendings - when did doctors all turn into such sociopaths and psychopaths and the worst part is I'm becoming one too. I'm sick of studying after working 14 hrs every day for ten days straight. I lie about my duty hours because in the words of my program director if we violate duty hours it's not the program but our own individual inefficiency that is the cause...ugh kill me now. I used to like patients but now all they represent is more work, more hassel, as an intern I never go to the OR and because my senior residents play favorites and games I rarely get the minor procedures associated with being the intern, i.e. lines/tubes/etc. Why did I ever becomes a doctor??? Like someone else said I'd rather be poor, in rags then do this for the rest of my life. They treat patients like meat, they treat residents like slaves... The attendings can't be bothered to teach but god forbid we're not there on the wards to take care of whomever they've cut into...FML, I just pray for the strength not to commit suicide every day and or cuss out anyone who wants something from me again, especially that stupid fucking nurse who pages me at 3:30 for an enema on a sleeping patient. WTF?!!

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All anecdotes have had parts fictionalised and potential identifiers altered in order to protect patient confidentiality.