Things I Was Not Trained To Diagnose

These are some of the complaints patients have had which I fear have had me utterly stumped over the recent months.

Case #1
From a 19yo girl: "Doctor, my belly button hurts."
Me: ?????
(And yes I did have to examine her belly button and it was fine besides having some lint)

Case #2
16yo boy: "Doctor, when I sit on the toilet a certain way, sometimes my legs go to sleep."
Me: "That happens to me too..."

Case #3
25yo woman: "Doctor, my hair feels funny."
Me: "I'm not really sure how that's possible - do you mean it's your scalp that feels funny?"
Her: "No, doctor, I mean it's the hair. My hair hurts."
Me: "Hmmmmm...."

Case #4
From an 81yo man: "My face feels really tight. Sort of like the skin is stretched."
(Diagnosis - too much Botox???)

For all of these, I have failed to provide a diagnosis or a recommendation for treatment. If you have any brilliant House-like ideas to help these patients, feel free to contribute.